The Christian Youth and Self Esteem!
It is a feeling of confidence, being happy with your own character and abilities. It is also known as self- worth. Self esteem is an indwelling virtue. It is a personal attribute that builds a person's personality. It is more of a static character of a person.
ConfidenceIt is the feeling that you can trust, believe in and be sure about the abilities or good qualities of somebody or something. Unlike self esteem, confidence is dynamic. It is the manifestation of the already accumulated in- dwelling self esteem in you. It is like the kinetic energy of the already potential energy (self esteem). For better understanding, when as a senior high school student, your colleagues are seriously studying for an English exams, but you simply relax having the self confidence or belief that no matter your preparation, you cannot earn lesser than an "A" grade. Such an in- dwelling feeling is now dynamically manifested by the confidence you exhibit when writing the English examination.
Pride
It is a feeling of pleasure or satisfaction that you get when you or people who are connected with you have done something well or when you own something that other people admire. Example; Brazil takes pride in football; the pride of the university is its very intelligent international students. For the sake of clarity, pride could be in dwelling and as well dynamic. The following examples above are in dwelling pride. If you say, the pride of a person is his kids then you say; what makes that person happy, complete, confident with himself as well a makes him have worth is his Kids. But dynamic pride is exhibited in relation to another person or subject. By the time this same person sees his kids as better than other kids in his neighborhood, then dynamic pride comes into play. Therefore, we can match the indwelling pride to be synonymous to self esteem where as the dynamic pride should be left alone as just pride.
This is the state of not being as good as somebody or something. A simple but practical example is when a boy becomes 18 years of age, he may feel he has now reached a certain level of responsibility and ought to give a more matured impression about himself. Hence he decides within himself to be strictly corporate in his outfits. Such a decision shows the worth he has weighed himself to. This is self esteem! But by the time he does not listen to his Mum anymore just because he is now an Adult makes him proud. And maybe peradventure his younger brother feels intimidated or 'not up to the level' anytime he and his friends, all in majestic charisma, are gathered together, then this is inferiority on his brother's part.
The following factors can stimulate a sense of, or feeling of confidence in us. They are:
• Beauty
• Background/fundamental upbringing
• Physical differences such as Age, physical strength and so on.
• Fluency in important languages
• Self righteousness
• Knowledge and understanding/ good skills
• Wealth
• Self righteousness/ morality and many more others
With these factors in mind, there are still some questions we need to clear in order to fully understand the significance of self esteem in a Christian's Life.• Are these factors absolute sources of self esteem?
• If they are, which one gives the most self esteem?
• Do I need to possess all of these factors to be fully confident in myself?
• If I need not possess all, which ones in particular are most needed to have self esteem?
• If there is a need to possess all or some of them, how do I get or acquire or even earn them? Is it worth it?
To be able to answer all of these questions appropriately, we have to know the Ultimate or absolute source of self esteem.
ABSOLUTE SOURCE OF SELF ESTEEM
When we say absolute, we mean complete, in totality or never ending. If God reveals to you that you will live for 80 years and you should partition this period into a period of hardship and that of total enjoyment, though with a choice; you would not be willing to partition this time, since you have a choice. Simply because you will love to have a full 80 years of enjoyment and not even a micro second of this period should be for hardship. We all want good things or experiences to be absolute in our Lives. So the absolute in every good thing in every way is what we all seek.
This is also applicable to self esteem. Can we get an absolute source of self esteem? If yes, then why not discover that source? The aforementioned factors would be discussed distinctively and evaluated to see if none or all or some of them are the ultimate source(s) of self esteem.
Beauty"Charm can be deceiving and beauty fades away, but a woman who honors the Lord deserves to be praised"- Proverbs 31:30. If beauty is a factor of self esteem, as it fades away, your self esteem fades as well. --- Isaiah3:16- 4:1. This passage talks about the pride of beauty, the women of Jerusalem exhibited and this angered the Lord, thereby raining curses on them. The magnitude of God's wrath was shown in Chapter 4:1 "when this happens, seven women will grab the same man, and each of them will say, I'll buy my own food and clothes! Just marry me and take away my disgrace". Whew! Is it really worth it to chase after external beauty?
But also, for the ladies; do not let any brother use Isaiah 4:1 to intimidate you or cause you to feel inferior. Guys may want to use that as a weapon to make some ladies feel much unsecured about chances of getting married. This curse was just to the daughters of Jerusalem when they turned their backs against God to beauty. In verses 2-6 talks, a re-awakening or re-establishment of God's relationship with the children of Israel was emphasized. So, this is not prophesy for the future to come and hence should not be used as a weapon of Inferiority or fear against the Ladies.
Is beauty really an absolute source of self esteem? Ponder on this question and give the answer yourself.
1st Chronicles 4:9-10. Jabez was born with a curse placed on him by his own Mother due to the pains she experienced in her delivery. He grew up with this curse actively functioning in his Life not until he turned to the Lord and the Lord changed his Life.
Her immediate background
Ruth was not only married to the son of a widow, but as well became a widow, alongside the wife of her brother- in- law. In some African thoughts or Old tradition, they may consider this a curse or the effect of an evil spell in the family. This accompanied with hunger is a great burden to carry and to really understand what Naomi and possibly Ruth were passing through, we can read Naomi's proclamation in chapter 1: 13b; "........ No, my daughter, Life is harder for me than it is for you, because the Lord has turned against me". Also verses 20 and 21.
Ruth was from the tribe of Moab. In Genesis 19:29-38, Moab was the product of the union between Lot (Abraham's cousin) and his elder daughter.
Even with the situation surrounding Ruth, she held firm to the faith and was a virtuous woman. Ruth answered "please don't tell me to leave you and return home! I will go where you go, I will live where you live; your people will be my people, your God will be my God" (1:16). Remember that, self esteem comes from within, the true virtue and personality of yourself. And also from our previous factors, "a woman who fears the Lord shall be praised".
All these are evidence of her in dwelling qualities. What was her reward?
God's specificity was very clear and obvious on his plans for Abraham and his descendants. Which is Isaac, then Israel (in particular, formerly called Jacob) and then to Judah. Despite the fact Abraham had other sons from Haggai and from Keturah his second wife after Sarah's death); God still maintained the specificity of His plans. Ruth 4:21-22 showed the descendants of Ruth. She married Boaz who begot Obed, who begot Jesse and who begot David. David the King was in the lineage of Our Lord and savior Jesus Christ. Ruth coming from the line of Moab who is not a descendant of Abraham in any way and in fact whose tribe sometimes are recorded to be enemies of the Children of Israel (2nd Chronicles 20:1,3-4), was incorporated into God's plans in the royal lineage of Our Lord and savior Jesus Christ. Not only that, an entire book from the scriptures was written about her. Not just some chapters, or a chapter or a verse, but an entire book. Her background was not a factor in making her what she was. The key here was her indwelling virtues as a virtuous woman and her obedient nature.
Matthew 15:22-28 talks about a Canaanite woman who needed an undeserved miracle from Jesus Christ, for her daughter. In verse 26, Jesus told her "it isn't right to take food away from children and feed it to dogs". Jesus does not lie and this statement made it clear on where the woman is coming from. Her background as a Canaanite has automatically disqualified her from receiving the blessing she needed from Jesus, considering the simile of being compared to dogs; she really is far from deserving what she is requesting. In verse 27, "Lord, that's true, the woman said, but even dogs get the crumbs that fall from their owner's table". We can see that she even accepted that fact. But do we take facts of Life or facts created by humans and virtual boundaries to weigh us down or stop us from getting what we need or deserve? In verse 28, Jesus was impressed and she got her healing. Even her abject background could not stop her.
Proverbs 30:8-9. "Make me absolutely honest and don't let me be too poor or too rich. Give me just what I need. If I have too much to eat, I might forget about you; if I don't have enough, I might steal and disgrace your name".
The psalmist has made these verses very explicit in relation to the context of the subject matter. If he becomes rich, he becomes proud and forgets God. If he becomes poor, he may become too inferior to think that if he doesn't steal, he will not survive. Just what he needs is what he wants from God so that he will always remember and serve him and as well maintain his self- esteem by avoiding stealing.
Physical differences
Physical differences such as Age, height, skin color and sometimes body built or shape, stimulate either inferiority in us or sometimes body built or shape stimulate either inferiority in us or self esteem. Paul encouraged Timothy not to allow anyone despite him in his youthful age but rather through his actions, he can set an example for others to follow (1st Tim 4:12). On the other hand Ecclesiastics 11:9-10; 12:1-8 warns us of youthful exuberance. 
No matter what we do as youths (great strength, fresh heads and zeal to do exploits) remember thy creator. The chances to fall into sin is high and exhibition of such extreme enthusiasm will lead us no where, neither would it add self esteem to us. Those who compose themselves would surely be praised. Jesus at 12, was already teaching the Temple Elders (Luke 2:42; 46-47). Though we may say, it is because He is "Jesus" but he said we would do even greater things than He did. This is a great challenge to parents to put their children in the way of the Lord from the earliest stage in Life (proverbs 22:6).
Moses was a stammerer and when God called him to go and save His people in the land of Egypt, Moses complained of His situation (Exodus 4:10-16). God persisted but Moses insisted as well. He felt he could not do it and he could not look unto God who can do it for him (which is inferiority). Sometimes we feel so inferior because of the bad way we speak important Languages. It may not necessarily be stammering but maybe grammatical errors. You spend 5 minutes to quietly rehearse what you want to say for 5 seconds. Or it could also be that you are in a foreign land, trying to learn the Language of the Natives but they cannot just avoid laughing at you, anytime you speak. These situations should not be taken as factors to bring your morale down, but rather are challenges you should face with confidence and with the belief that you will soon overcome. This approach can boost a reviving spirit in you and hence give you that energetic self-esteem you need.
Self RighteousnessDo you think you live a blameless Life and then comfortably sit back with your arms above your shoulders? Do you do your best possible to be principled and high in moral standards and hence see yourself as reputable in your environment? People around you may respect you, Love you, and regard you with high esteem, but is it an absolute source of self esteem? Mark 10:17-22 speaks of a rich Man who came to Jesus and claims he has kept every Law required of him and wanted to know what else to do. Verse 21 quotes "Then Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, "One thing you lack; Go your way, sell whatever you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasures in Heaven; and come, take up the cross and follow me". Wow! Morality by human standards must always have a 'one thing lacking'. You may be highly respected by people, but definitely not all. Humans are relative and some may see or even experience the bad side of you. If such people are able to influence others, your reputation then becomes relative to some certain Individuals.
And by the time you get a his from an individual you so much expected a respectful compliment from, it will hurt and if care is not taken, that could begin a sequence of events which would lead to the destruction of the esteem you once had. After Jesus Christ mentioned what the man would do, what was his reaction? He was sad and turned his back and left. So bad! This was someone who came in confidence and with a certain level of pride because of his good works but went back in sadness and head- dropped down.
Self- righteousness by human standards is hypocrisy because you will only get to see the good attributes of the person involved; while the bad attributes stay hidden. But by the time the bad attribute would be blown up, everything spoils. (Matthew7:6-7; Matthew 23:1-28). Verse 28 makes it very clear. "Even so you also outwardly appear righteous to men, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness. Isaiah 64:6 is very explicit in this issue, "But we are all like an unclean thing and all our righteousness are like filthy rags; we all fade as a leaf, and our iniquities like the wind, have taken us away".
After all, every factor of self esteem is considered vanity (Ecclesiastics 1:2) from King Solomon who was blessed by God with virtually everything you could think of. Outside God, we have nothing to boast about because there is nothing new on this Earth which has not been or been done (Ecclesiastics 1:9-10). That is to say, whatever you have, own, possess or merit; someone already had it before and someone elsewhere has it at the same time as you do and someone will definitely have even more (Ecclesiastics 1:4). In view of this, it is totally destructive to cast our minds on earthly factors for self- worth. But having the self-Esteem defined by God yields earthly blessings and above all, Eternal Life (Joshua 1:8, Matthew 6:33).
May God almighty open our eyes to know our worth and serve him in its capacity and magnitude in Jesus name. AMEN!
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