It's Not About You But What God Has Called You To Do - Lisa U Maki
I was praying one day, so hurt with what my husband said to me. I laid down my hurts and pains before the Lord and started asking Him a lot of "whys". Then He said: "What about you?" to which I replied: "What do you mean?" And He said: "Let's not talk about your husband. I will deal with him separately on that. Let's talk about you and your role as a wife". Oh my! I wanted to run away when I heard that. I felt that God was siding with my husband and that was the last thing I needed at that time.
"What about me" was what God wanted to deal with and not "what about my husband". He wanted me to look at myself first and not at the other person. For as long as I am looking at my husband I will not be able to look at myself more closely. "But God" I said, and He replied, "I understand. But this is between me and you and has nothing to do with him". That was when God started showing me Scriptures about my role as a wife. That was also the time I realized that this marriage is not about me or my rights but about my role as a wife and what God says in His Word.
You are in your marriage not for you to defend your rights but for you to give up your rights to God. You are in your marriage to serve God as you serve your husband and your children. You are in your marriage to grow in this walk and to be perfected just as God is perfect. You are in your marriage for sanctification. Your marriage is not about you but about God.
It doesn't matter if our husbands are doing their part or not. As I've mentioned earlier, God is going to deal with them separately on that. Meanwhile, what matters to God is if we are doing our part.
The Bible has many Scriptures that talk about our part and role in our marriage.
1. Wives, be subject (be submissive and adapt yourselves) to your own husbands as [a service] to the Lord. (Ephesians 5:22)
2. In like manner, you married women, be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them], so that even if any do not obey the Word [of God], they may be won over not by discussion but by the [godly] lives of their wives,
When they observe the pure and modest way in which you conduct yourselves, together with your reverence [for your husband; you are to feel for him all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere him-to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy your husband]. (1 Peter 3:1-2)
3. She comforts, encourages, and does him only good as long as there is life within her. (Proverbs 31:12)
4. Her lamp goes not out, but it burns on continually through the night [of trouble, privation, or sorrow, warning away fear, doubt, and distrust] (Proverbs 31:18).
Submit, adapt, subordinate, respect, revere, honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, adore, admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, enjoy, comfort, and encourage. These are some of our basic roles. Add to that "doing him only good as long as there is life within you". And don't forget to keep your lamp burning, meaning, you are to be the light in your house and it has to keep burning. This does not give way to a pitiful, anxious, fearful, or depressive spirit.
But my husband is not even doing his job as the leader of the house... my husband drinks a lot... my husband is addicted to porn... my husband is rude to me... my husband can't even provide for us... etc. etc. etc.
Let me bring you back to 1 Peter 3:1-2
In like manner, you married women, be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them], so that even if any do not obey the Word [of God], they may be won over not by discussion but by the [godly] lives of their wives,
When they observe the pure and modest way in which you conduct yourselves, together with your reverence [for your husband].
Whoever your husband is and no matter how bad he is, God expects you to do your part. Of course you are not to submit to him if he is telling you to sin. If he is asking you to watch porn with him then you are not expected to submit because it is against the Word of God. But don't let his sin stop you from serving him, loving him, appreciating him, encouraging him, and all your other God-given duties.
It is not going to be easy more so if you have a husband who is not surrendered to Jesus. This is why Ephesians 5:22 emphasizes that our submission to our husbands is a service to the Lord. It is not for him but for God.
Look at your marriage as your ministry. Your role as a wife is your servitude to God. Fulfilling your role is pleasing to God. Fulfilling these roles despite the difficulties is a sacrifice to God. When you start doing your role, God will move on your behalf. Remember, obedience will release the miracle working power of God in your life.
Lisa Maki is the founder of God'z Gurlz, a Bible-based online magazine for women whose mission is to is to provide a place where women can learn to manage their emotions, experience healing, receive love and acceptance, be free to be who God made them to be, and be the best they can be in their homes, schools, professions, relationships, and calling, through sharing of insights and experiences, counseling, prayer, and devotionals, thereby learning from and supporting each other. For more of Lisa's articles, visit http://godzgurlz.com/ Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lisa_U_Maki Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7278775