Is Love And Marriage Forever? - By David Seragih
On Judgement Day, all the people were queuing up to enter heaven. God decided to divide the people into three lines. The first line was for the men who were dominated by their wives while living on earth. The second line was for the men who dominated their wives during their lives on earth. The third line was for all the women. God looked at the first two lines and saw that one was longer than the other.
The first queue was really long and God was greatly disappointed to see that there were so many men who failed to fulfill their destiny set by God as the head of the household. Their lives were completely controlled by their wives. But God saw that there was one man in the second line. Finally, there was one man who lived up to his calling. God turned to all the men in the first queue and told them to follow the good example of the one man in the second line. However, God was really curious as to how he did it. He turned to the man and asked him for his secret formula on how he managed to control his wife and not let her dominate his life. The man turned to God and said, "I don't know, God. My wife told me to stand in this line so I obeyed."
Marriage is long instituted by God. It was created by God in the Garden of Eden. When God instituted marriage, it was not meant for Christians alone but for all people. King Solomon told us in Ecclesiastes 9:9 (New Living Translation) to "live happily with the woman you love through all the meaningless days of life that God has given you under the sun. The wife, God gives you is your reward for all your earthly toil". Clearly, even King Solomon understood the meaning of marriage and to live happily with the woman that God has rewarded you for you your hard-works King Solomon wants us to enjoy the marriage that God has instituted in our lives.
Marriage is important to God and to use. It represents how God loves us and our relationship with God. The Bible likens us as the brides of Christ. If we say that our marriage is not working, then we are saying that our relationship with God is not working. All His marriage institutions then are failure. This is not a good representation of God's love for His people. There are many divorces in this world. We are Christians have a role to play and that is to show God's love is real. We must ensure our marriage is successful as it is our message to the world that God's love is real and our relationship with God is real.
Ephesians 5:22-25; Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.
The Role and Responsibilities of a Husband
1. To be a leader. The husband is to be a prophet, priest and king to his wife. The husband is the leader and head of the household. As the leader and the head, men are called to have vision and to provide direction. Why is the man called to be the head? On the head, lie the eyes. The purpose of the eyes is to see far and near, to see ahead with vision. When God created the world, He created the man first and God gave man the responsibility of work to look after the garden and the animals. God left man with the accountability and command not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil before God created woman.
However, since sin entered the world through Adam, men began to fall away from God. Today, men are so busy working. They do not have time to pray. They do not have time to serve in the church. They do not have time to read the bible. They do not have time to provide spiritual food to their wives and children. How then is the man going to fulfill his role as the priest and king to his wife?
As the priest, the role is to lead the people of God into the presence of God. As the priest to your wife, your responsibility is to provide spiritual food and guidance to your wife, and to lead her into the spiritual presence of God.
A king always carries himself with dignity and authority. He is supposed to lead like the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit leads God's people. He does not drive or push the people to meet God's goals. The king rules the kingdom wisely and reigns among his people.
2. To love his wife. A wise and loving king will put his kingdom and people first before himself. Similarly, as the husband, you are to lead your wife and family but not by force or by thumbing your wife down. A wise and loving husband will govern his household wisely and reigns. His family will respect him and obey him as he puts his wife and family first before himself. A husband must love his wife, be willing to give of yourself and lay down your life for your wife.
Every time we backslide or sin, we grieve God. But He never gives up on us. He saddles us with His love and lovingly holds us in His arms. God remains faithful even if we are unfaithful. In every way, the husband is to be like Jesus who loves the church and gave of Himself for our salvation. In the same way, the husband is to love his wife and give of himself to her.
The Role and Responsibilities of a Wife
1. To be a helper to her husband. Genesis 2:28; And the Lord God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him."
God told Adam the reason why Eve was created. When God created the world, God said that everything He created was good. When He created man, He said that it was not good enough. God said that something was missing and it was not good for man to be alone. Although when God created Adam, he has a job to look after the Garden of Eden but God realized that it was not healthy for Adam to be alone. By being alone, Adam will not have a healthy character development. Hence, God created woman to be a helper and comparable in every way to Adam in order to assist him.
How then is the woman to help man to fulfill the visions and dreams given to him by the Holy Spirit? How is the wife to help her husband to see the visions and dreams from God? For the wife to be a helper, she must know the husband's vision. It is the husband's responsibility to share his visions and dreams with his wife. If your wife believes that the visions and dreams come from the Holy Spirit, she will believe in you. It is the wife's role to help her husband to achieve his visions and dreams. As a wife, you are to be a dream enabler, not a dream stealer or destroyer. You are to encourage your husband and to render help to make the visions and dreams come true.
2. To submit to her husband Ephesians 5:24; Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
The responsibility of a wife is to submit to her husband. When the Bible says that a wife is to be submissive to her husband, it does not mean that she becomes a slave, to be thumbed down, to be ordered around or to be abused. A wife is to be encouraging, supportive and helpful. In turn, she is to be loved, treasured and respected by her husband. As a wife, you are to submit to your husband in everything.
If a man is married to a woman, who is high powered, more educated than him, and earned much higher, he must do his duty as a husband and as head of the household before she is willing to submit to your authority. Think about it. If you first love your wife and shower her with your agape love, you will find your wife loving you willingly in return. Just as God first loves us, as husband, you are to love your wife first.
Why does marriage fail and Woman dominate over Man?
Romans 5:12 says that sin entered through one man. This 'man' mentioned in the bible is not a general term referring to mankind but specifically to a particular man. Sin entered through one man and that is Adam. God made Adam the head over all things in the Garden of Eden as we look back at the bible in Genesis 2. Adam was also given the responsibility of works and Adam was commanded not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. All things were perfect and beautiful until sin entered the world through Adam. This explains why things do not go well with businesses, family relationships, careers and even within the nations. Sin has stained everything that God created which was originally beautiful and perfect.
As the head, Adam has a responsibility and authority over Eve. But he failed in that as a husband to protect and to guide her. When we read further in Genesis 3:6, Adam was with Eve when she was tempted by the devil to take and eat of the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. He heard and saw the devil tempted her but he did not stop her. When Eve ate of the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, sin has not entered the world yet as far as God is concerned. Reason being, Adam has not sinned yet. He has not eaten of the fruit. He is the head and authority that God has placed over the Garden of Eden and Eve.
1 Timothy 2:13-14 tells us why God held Adam accountable. Adam was formed first before Eve. He was given the revelation by God that when he ate of the fruit, he would die. Adam knew the consequences of eating the fruit. He knew that what the serpent told Eve were lies. Yet in knowing all these, Adam did nothing to neither protect his wife from the devil nor stop her from taking the fruit. As husbands, if we do not cover and protect our wives, they will fall away and try to fight for their own rights and survival. They will fight for themselves.
Example of Tamar in the Bible who Fights for her Rights
Let take a look at Judah, his sons and his daughter-in-law. Genesis 38 tells us of Judah taking a wife for himself and they had three sons - Er, Onan and Shelah. Judah also took a wife for his first son, Er, called Tamar. But Er was a wicked man and the Bible tells us that God killed him. In the Jewish tradition, if the wife of the first son does not bear him any children, the second son in the line is to marry her. And the first child born in the second marriage will bear the name of the elder brother and to carry on his line. In Latin, this is called "Levirate Marriage" where "Levir" means husband's brother.
When Er was killed by God, Judah asked Onan to marry Tamar in order to carry on the line of Er. Onan knew all these and he knew that the family inheritance will go to his brother's child. He did not obey Judah's instruction. He wanted sexual pleasure with Tarmar yet didn't want to give her any baby. He wanted the family inheritance totally for himself as well. God was displeased with Onan's actions. Onan was killed by God, too. The next son left in line is Shelah. Shelad was too young then to marry Tamar. Judah, after lost two sons, became fearful that Tamar was a jinx. So, he sent her away to her father's house and promised her that Shelah would marry her when he came of age. But Judah didn't plan to fulfill his words (Genesis 38:11).
Maturity doesn't come with age, it comes with the acceptance of responsibility. Judah, being an old man, was totally irresponsible. Tamar waited for Judah to fulfill his words. She saw Shelah grew up and yet was not given to her. When the husband does not give to the wife what she wants that is rightfully hers, she will go and get it her way. Genesis 38:13-14 tells us that Tamar decided to take matter into her own hands. She took off her widow's garments, covered herself and dressed up like a harlot. She placed herself on the road to Timnah. Timnah, in those days, were equivalent to the modern day Las Vegas, a place where men go to find pleasure for themselves with prostitutes.
Here was Tamar, a woman from a good family background and an obedient woman, was willing to offer her body immorally as a prostitute. What caused her to degrade herself? The reason was given in Genesis 38:14. What was due to Tamar as promised, was not given to her. When a husband does not fulfill his marriage vow to his wife, she will go her own way to meet her needs that her husband does not give her.
Judah, on his way to Timnah, saw the veiled Tamar. He thought she was a harlot. Judah wanted to have sex with her. This was a woman of great virtue and integrity, yet she reduced herself to prostitution to get what she deserved, because of three men who failed her. Tamar knew that Judah was not going to keep his word so she asked for a pledge until he sent his payment. Here, Tamar resorted to manipulation. Judah, like all men, was living for the passion of the moment. He gave his signet, cord and staff that represented him and authority to a "prostitute" in return for a moment of pleasure. God in his sovereign plan has a far greater plan than family life for in the lineage of Judah came Jesus. In Tamar's change of behavior we saw how women can become cunning and manipulative as a result of men who failed them.
The greatest ironic of the entire story in Genesis 38 is we saw Judah keeping his promise to a prostitute instead of to his own family member, his daughter-in-law. The same situation happens today. We saw men who do not provide for their wives and family but they were willing to throw away their money to their mistresses and lovers. Subsequently, Judah received news that his daughter-in-law was immoral and became pregnant. Judah became angry and wanted to burn her alive as a punishment.
Tamar asked her father-in-law to find the man whom the pledge belonged to and found the culprit responsible for her pregnancy. Could you imagine how shock everyone was in the room when they saw the signet, cord and staff? Judah, having saw the pledged items, began to realise the reason behind Tamar's actions. Genesis 28:26 tells us that Judah realised his failure to keep his promise and decided to take responsibility for his actions.
Conclusion
God has a far greater plan despite our failures. Years later, Jesus came through the line of Judah. The most important point in the story is that Judah repented. He did what Tamar wanted of him, and that is to be responsible. Tamar didn't expect her man to be perfect but to be responsible to their words and to fulfill their duties. As husbands, we have a duty to God and our wives, to fulfill our marriage vows to love, protect and provide for them. Women, today become dominating, demanding, and marriage fails, when men fail to take up their responsibility and role as a man, husband and head of the family. You may be a male by birth but you can choose to be a man by choice!
Please visit Sermon Alive to get more: [http://www.sermonalive.com] Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=David_Seragih Part 2 - Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/1032109 Part 1 : Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/1003855 - Why does marriage fail and Woman dominate over Man? Let's see in the part 2 [http://www.sermonalive.com/being-family/is-love-and-marriage-forever2] Please visit Sermon Alive to get more [http://www.sermonalive.com]
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